March 15, 2008 by babysteph
dunno wat title to give to dis post..so left it empty. anyway, itz not a happy post la.
was saying in my previous post tat i’m enjoying being a scouts tcr-in-charge. but i totally don enjoy being the music coordinator! actually, i’m tinking of stepping down… not now, definitely. end of yr ba. very sianz…………………..
i find it a hassle to chair meetings, to schedule meetings by emailing/sms-ing/calling my committee members of which some wud go MIA, nvr reply my sms nor answer my calls. i guess music is just not my cup of tea, even tho i’m equipped with the qualifications.
teaching chinese needs more preparation, there is also more marking to be done. but i actually enjoy teaching chinese more than music, altho music needs zero marking. i guess i just have the passion for chinese language & culture. teaching music is very different fr playing music or appreciating music loh. and it is rather difficult disciplining some pupils in my music classes, cos i only c them once a week, for 30 mins. i don even know their names.
(SHIT, my sunburnt skin is starting to itch… 真不好受！)
there’s a big event tat needs to be planned, and i need to work wif someone more superior. many a time, i go to dis person hoping dis person will give advice to my problems. but in fact, my problems increase or magnify, aft seeing dis person… and my music committee is SSSSOOOOOOOOOO small. worse still, itz a non-core committee, so everyone bo-chap. itz almost impossible to get all members together for a meeting, cos diff time tables, diff sessions. gd loh, i’m not superwoman, certain things can’t be done by one person alone. so, i shall not push myself tat hard in dis dept. cannot be done by one person alone, den i don do loh!
doing the budget, work review, dept work plan is the worst! haiz….still gotta bear wif these tasks for another 9 mths… hope i’l be able to step down ah………… then i wont be so overloaded… i wanna spend more time on my chinese lessons, and on scouts.
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sometimes i get very unhappy just tinking about the things i need to do for the music dept… is the task too diffcult for me? or izit just so that i simply do not have the interest in it… datz y i keep delaying them, and not doing my best for them… i don’t know. i only know, right now, i’m very unhappy about doing the 3 yr dept work plan… i find it very nonsensical, and don c the rationale behind it. maybe bcos i’m still very raw at it.
so i conclude i’m not cut out to be someone in the middle management, cos i simply hate chairing meetings and doing admin stuffs such as dept work plans, and planning dept events. HATE! HATE! HATE! i just wanna be a happy teacher, enjoying teaching my pupils & loving them! in fact, tat shud b the core responsibility of teachers, not admin wrk & stuffs. wat MOE is doing now, 其实是本末倒置.
beta stop my complaining… i shall think of the happy things tat happened at camp, and times spent with my frens. leave the worries, the stress to tmr. zzZZZZ…..
