One Inch Closer to babysteph

school is finally coming to a close. yes, i am happy! for my holidays. for the fact that i’ve survived my 1st 6mths teaching. definitely worth celebrating. managed to survive the past half a yr. datz great! cos the worst has yet to come. wonder how all of u r doing out there? did u realise, our blog posts r getting lesser & lesser? 只证明了一件事，就是大家越来越忙，忙得没时间写blog. oops, 好像只有我和恩恩郡主还在常常写，难道我们很‘闲’？;D

met a fren a couple of wks ago..she’s still doing her final yr in NIE. she told me itz revision period now, exams coming, and she complained about having to rush assignments. and suddenly, i felt like crying… i reli missed those days of rushing last minute assignments, preparing presentations, revising for exams… rushing tonnes of assignments & preparing for exams is nothing compared to the work & stress i face as a teacher… thinking back, just 7mths ago i was still sitting in tutorial rms & lecture theatres attending my favourite lessons… now…have to b careful & get myself very good "bullet proof vest" & "shield"… to protect myself from "arrows" lah!

是的，我还是喜欢读书的！非常喜欢！不知道什么时候还会有读书的机会。。。

tinking whether to do another degree…in translation & interpretation…but then again…the money & the time… i need too much sleep…don tink i can cope… 可是如果不趁年轻时候读，再拖下去就连想都别想了。

最近学生考完试，快放假了。我还真的挺闲的！超爽！（看我三天两头的写blog 就知道我很闲，哈哈，天天放工回来都可以relax，不用工作到三更半夜！）前几个月真的忙得喘不过气，天天发牢骚来de-stress，不过现在回过头看，也不是挨过来了嘛。所以，老师也不是太糟的一份职业啦。每一行都有其中的苦，只是你看我好，我看你好罢了。可是，闲着、闲着，又会不自觉地想起一些过去的事，回忆起生命中的一些人。。。一个人。。。

曾经有这么一个人，给过我十天的快乐。十天过后，一年后，两年后，甚至三年后，我都很少想起他。最近他却常常浮现我的脑海中。每每听到、读到、看到、想到三年半前的那十天，我的心就会揪一下。为何呢？我也不知道。还是感谢他曾经带给我的那短暂的十天的快乐！希望将来还能够有机会再见到他。别误会，我不是对他什么什么。现在对他的想念，和怀念他给过我的快乐，是非常非常单纯的，纯粹从友情的立场出发！希望这个给过我十天快乐，在远方的他，过得非常好！

recently reli more free than the past few mths…finally have the chance to listen to songs and practise my singing!!! very happy!!! for the past 6 mths, i almost din learn any new songs, 唱来唱去都是那几首歌，听到我自己都要吐了！i reli "deproved" a lot, can’t stand it…nowadays go singing owiz 力不从心！damn it lor! i reli want to sing! luckily i din continue my advanced course, else wil only end up wasting money. yes, my throat reli can’t sing at all during the term. recently students finished exams, no need to teach so much, less strain on my throat, so can practise abit. 希望可以扼补一下自己的功力！

hoping the holidays come soon… first of all, gonna survive thru the nvr-ending full-day meetings from dis fri all the way to nxt fri… >_<||| torture… torture… torture! i will keep yawn yawn yawn yawn & yawn… uncontrollably…
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yes de, itz so hard to arrange a mit-up wif u pals leh! sze, HM, and my Meiting dear…, etc… we r reli so so so so so busy! only my dear shopping cum eating khaki QM got heart, owiz arrange very early to mit up to 疯狂购物 & 疯狂进食 to de-stress…

walked past one of the recycling bins in my neighbourhood some weeks ago, couldn’t help but took down dis photo & decided to post it on my blog.

i reli appreciate having more recycling bins ard in the neighbourhood, cos itz so much convenient for me to do my part in being environmental-friendly, esp in killing less tress.

but there r just selfish, inconsiderate singaporeans (or maybe not just singaporeans) who treat the recycling bins as dustbins. look at the picture, there r styrofoam cups, hard plastic, lots of plastic bags wif rubbish, instead of recyclable materials. i pity the pple who come & collect stuffs fr recycling bins, poor thing, they’ve to sort out all diz rubbish. i wonder how much of these rubbish r recyclable stuffs..

so pple out there reading my blog, pls do not be like diz selfish, inconsiderate pple who treat recycling bins as dustbins! recycling bins r not dustbins! there r alr lots of dustbins in the neighbourhood.

if u do not want to play a part in saving the environment, itz ok, just don’t make it worse…

昨天和老妈在回家的路上见到一对父子下巴士。儿子看上去很年轻，20出头吧，斯斯文文，皮肤白皙，长得挺帅的。行动不便，像是中了风。五、六十岁的父亲扶着他下巴士。每一步都是艰辛。他的每一步，正常人能够跑十几步了。一个年轻女子从巴士后门下车，拿了一部轮椅到巴士前门，让男子下了巴士后坐上。然后，父亲就推着那部儿子坐着的轮椅。

老妈说，她经常看见这对父子。每次都是父亲推着坐在轮椅上的儿子。听说是儿子得了某种病。

看了这样的情景，心情相当沉重，心里面感觉很不舒服。可怜那年老的父亲，还得为儿子操心，本应该是由儿子照顾老父的，现在反而是要老父来照顾儿子。可怜那年轻的儿子。大好青年，长得俊俏、秀气，却得被病魔折腾，无法像其他同龄的青年般正常地生活。

深深地觉得，人能够健健康康地活着，真的应该感恩！但愿那名男子能够早日康复，过上正常的生活！

today a P2 girl had an asthma attack in my class… she ’s been quite sickly all along, often complaining of stomachache, chest pain, etc. today during my lesson suddenly came to me say she cannot breathe, heart pain. i tot was her normal discomfort, but aft awhile she came up to me the 2nd time & i felt her heart beating so fast. of coz i was scared. nvr handled dis kinda situation b4. very scared she’ll pass out in my class. i wouldn’t know wat to do..

i went to the form teacher for help. she was in a meeting, and i felt she was not quite willing to help, even tho i told her the girl was in bad shape. maybe these experienced teachers have experienced many situations like dis, so it didn’t worry them.. or maybe she tot i could communicate beta wif the girl’s family, as they only spoke chinese & dialect. so…i called up the girl’s family to pick her up asap.

then, i had to accompany the girl downstairs. she told me she couldn’t walk at all, looked like she’s in alot of pain. she looked as if she was gg to collapse anytime. i reli din know wat to do, asked her to sit down & went back to the form teacher again for help. AND, again, she din seem willing to help. a PE teacher who was also at the meeting came to help. phew! she was reli good at calming the girl down, and kinda calmed me down too.

i don understand y the form teacher appeared to be so 无动于衷?! itz a girl fr her class lor! i’m new, i’ve nvr met such a situation, can’t she help abit??

anyway, i called the girl’s grandma twice tonite. she’s now at KK hosp, under observation. wonder wat happened to her… poor thing… hoping she’ll recover soon. 没有什么比健康更重要！
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dis girl just makes me think of all the poor children i’ve met so far. the only one taking care of her is her grandma. her mum is a thai, and she doesn’t know where her mum is. her dad has to work, so she seldom sees her dad.

i reli wonder y so many parents nowadays r so irresponsible?! give birth to the child & do not want to take care, or do not have the ability to take gd care of the child… or just throw the child to the grandparents. come on, the grandparents alr took care of the parents for more than half of their lives, can’t the parents be more filial, let the grandparents have beta lives?? and not throw them another burden.

these parents don’t think.. don’t plan.. 生孩子容易，养孩子困难！if u r not ready for the commitment, cannot give ur child the care, the love, the time… then don’t give birth. don’t let ur child suffer.

reli angry at these parents! some don’t even hv enuf to feed themselves, but want to have children. and many of these children end up having academic problems, or behavioural problems. who to blame? definitely not the children. they r the victims.

nothing new lah… not much updates, cos life’s been boring…nothing much but work, work & nvr-ending work… wat a job! the most hateful part is having to do work at home on wkends…

still not quite used to the tiredness dat i feel everyday aft teaching. and i’ve found out the cause of it. it is — teaching. esp shouting at the students & sweating. been teaching for 4mths, but i reli still feel so drained everyday aft work. dat day went into classes for invigilation, no shouting, no teaching. and, i reli felt more energetic aft work dat day. SO, concluded dat this is a very tiring & physical job.

but the year is ending soon, yippie!!! holidays coming! looking real fwd to my holidays! haven been travelling with mum for more than 2 yrs le.. reli excited. 很快地，终于能够看到兵马俑了！希望真的有如书上写的那么壮观，别让我这个秦始皇迷失望！BUT, b4 the real holidays come, there’s gonna be non-stop of meetings, work plans, work reviews, zzZZZ…….

nxt yr gonna be a busy year for me… been asked to be the music coordinator for the school. and most prob following up my P5 to teach them in P6. well, good opportunity to perform. but oso "sai-kang"… u do well, pple will take it for granted, and every yr, it’ll be u doing it. u don do well, tongues will definitely wag behind ur back. 做人难！

diz 2 days been real CRAZY!!! i wonder if those of u in other schools r as crazy… the chinese exam just took place on wed. and today–friday, we r supposed to finish checking the papers, keying in results into cockpit, printing mark lists for form teachers, and doing some very "ley-chey" HAMALA pupil profiling… yep, 1 set of results, teachers gonna key dunno how many times. still to come, the results analysis & item analysis. inefficient system dat expects us to be efficient.

immediately aft the exam, we r like marking machines. aft marking, we r like data-keying machines… sheong… >_<||| do until i want to cry, rushing like mad. yes, MAD.

ok, enough of complaints… i stil like some parts of my job lah… just dat i need to grumble a little to de-stress. sorry to flood ur ears wif my grumbling.. ^_^ yeah.. still enjoying my good rapport relationship wif my students & passing on knowledge to them.
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Sharing of sth lame..lame pple..lame reasons…:
talking about passing on knowledge… there was dis extremely LAME thing dat happened when i 1st entered the school. remember the principal asked all teachers to write on papers: 1) y we chose to be teachers; 2) what we would like to see in our pupils aft teaching them.

for me, very simple, 1) simply bcos i love & enjoy the process of teaching & passing on knowledge to others. 2) to see my pupils love to learn. at least i tink my reason & goal were realistic & achievable.

there were some in-my-opinion very lame & very fake pple. they actually wrote, they want to cultivate pupils into morally-upright pple, they hope aft 6yrs of education, their pupils wil grow up into morally-upright citizens. wow, 好伟大的理想！omg…wat crap. no one is perfectly morally-upright. we r not saints. look at all of us in this society. how many of us r actually perfectly morally-upright? deep inside i’m thinking, just how many of those teachers reli mean what they wrote. or were they just writing for the sake of writing?

or maybe my english no good lah, got the wrong idea. but they reli wrote in a way like…they r trying to be saints… i still tink the most impt task of a teacher is to pass on knowledge & the love for learning, yet cultivating right moral values while passing on knowledge.

ok, enough of crap fr me… itz gettin late, & i’m starting to blabber nonsense…just feel like blogging… hv u realised, i haven blogged for so long?? all bcos of my busy, physically-cum-mentally-draining job lah…

hope u guys out there have a great weekend!

my sch’s end of year prize-giving ceremony is in mid-novermber, and the committee has started planning for it, and has delegated jobs to all teachers. i mentioned earlier, i have to design an invitation card. i haven done a scratch of it. got the wordings ready, but not the design nor any pictures.

all that know me, u all know i’m an idiot at art, at anything that needs creativity. actually dis invitation card thing is not tat difficult lah, itz just tat i’ve got more impt things to do now tat student’s exams r ard the corner.

hmm…i am just wondering…y can’t my school just buy a nice presentable invitation card & print the words on it????? i reli reli reli reli reli wonder y leh… they told me the invitation card’s gonna be sent to the guest of honour, some minister. then all the more shud go buy a presentable card mah… and it SAVES SO MUCH trouble & time! y ah??? can someone tell me y??? i reli don understand leh. y must make an invitation card???

i’m not fed-up or angry or anything…just reli wonder y… anyone has any answers to my question? y can’t they save more time? save more trouble? then things can be more efficient. hmm…how come such things tat need efficiency nvr gets efficient. but certain things, like change of password and some other non-constructive things r supposed to be efficient?

ok, i shall go ask y can’t the school buy a nice presentable invitation card.

得知某某与某某某的事情，不算惊讶。哈哈，因为早就认定他们一定会有这样的发展。心里面其实很为他们高兴！第一次看到两个朋友发展成为好朋友，然后晋升为“更好”的朋友，那种过程和感觉。。。很妙！无法形容。我喜欢你们的坦白，竟然能够那么白的互相说出想法与担忧，对我这个朋友，或者“姐姐”也没有隐隐藏藏。

我知道这句话没什么用，但我还是要对你们说：“别想太多，走一步看一步。” 就算是在途中受了伤，发生了你们不想发生的状况，也无所谓。这一切不都是人成长的过程吗？

“姐姐”在此献上我的祝福，等待下一次的佳讯。

今天和海蝶的朋友们聚了聚。很开心！JL 仍然一样entertaining，haha.. thanx for all the jokes!  你今天特别搞笑咯，莫非是想“搏君一笑”？

现在回到家又觉得倍感压力！想到明天是星期天，但仍然必须在家赶工，还要赶得半死，真的好想哭！真的有做不完的工作，单单这个周末，就要赶出weekly lesson plan, COMPLETED EPMS, students’ CME grades, design invitation card for sch’s prize-giving ceremony。EPMS 就够我死的了！不过还是庆幸今天，星期六，我和朋友们过了开心的一天！itz reli a good break from my stressful working life!

ok, deviate fr my main topic again.. owiz like dat.. 庄子一直都是我偶像。没错，是2000多年前那个哲学家庄子。我一直都很认同庄子那一套看法。今天在和朋友聊天时才发现，我真的把庄子的那一套看法apply在我生活上。结果呢，朋友说我怎么don’t take a stand，有点双头蛇。

alamak! 竟然说我双头蛇?! 哈哈，我是不介意的啦，反正大家都是开玩笑，没恶意的。我解释说，我不是不take stand，只是很多时候，对和不对、黑和白、长和短，其实都无需争辩，因为并没有什么分别。

对和不对的问题，只是从不同的角度、不同的利害关系看待问题。你认为这样东西黑，那是因为你脑子里已经有了白的观念。你认为这样东西长，那是因为你拿了比它短的东西去和它相比。你觉得某样东西漂亮，那是因为你已经有了什么叫漂亮的观念。所以，庄子认为，这一切的争论都是无谓的。我认同庄子的看法，但并不觉得这一切的争论是无谓的。

所以啊，朋友，我只是帮你们分析situation，我并没有take a stand。庄子的思想不是双头蛇的思想ok？

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ok，废了一堆，该是去卸妆、冲凉，准备睡觉的时候了。明天还要去facial，然后回家赶工。有时候真的好想哭，stressed，不知道什么时候才能够把东西做完。。。以前读书就算last minute 应付考试都没这么stressed。唉，还是读书比较好！让我考试连续考100个科目，那种压力都比不上我现在工作上所面对的压力…

nothing but busy!!! got no time to blog… so many things happened, but yet, seems like nothing happened. bcos all that has happened is nothing but work. spent afew hrs last nite doing some non-teaching related stuffs. felt so fed-up..y do we have to do so many things that r not related to teaching??? had a late nite last nite, was editing my EPMS and updating the soft copy of my CCA & supplementary classes attendance.

lesson observation was finally over. glad nothing went wrong. very fortunate that i’ve got a good RO. but she’s retiring dis yr end..and wonder nxt yr whom i’ll be thrown to…hopefully…pray hard hard itz not …… (that somebody whom everyone fears & hates, hahaz….)

the weather is fucking hot recently… so hot i can constantly feel my sweat dripping & dripping as i teach. damn weather…makes me so tired… so sticky & smelly aft the end of the day. so paiseh to take bus, everyday have to spray perfume b4 i leave school. and yet cannot wear those real comfortable clothes…my school quite strict with wat we wear. can’t even wear long tights lo… must be tailored pants. sleeveless tops, the shoulder part oso cannot be too thin. aiya, alot of this & that lah…

been chasing the 9pm show lately. quite nice! at least some entertainment aft a long tiring day…

gotta go catch the show now. looking fwd to the days i can mit up wif my frens again…

work’s very stressful nowadays, esp dis term… making me feeling very stressed, very tired diz days… itz making me sick too…

i’m sick today, took MC, hopefully can accomplish some work at home. finally the chinese 7th month is over! evey yr, i HATE the chinese 7th month, bcos of the burning, dat makes my nose feel terrible. hopefully, the air clears up abit, and my nose will gradually get well. been having flu, or sinus, on & off for weeks.

stressed….bcos there’s lesson observation coming up nxt monday. stressed bcos dis term is so short, i’m worrying about not being able to complete the syllabus. stressed bcos i’m worrying about not having enuf time to do revision with my students. actually, i tink ultimately, the thing datz making me most stressed is the lesson observation on monday bah..i feel so tensed up bcos of the stupid observation. last time practicum owiz get observed, got so used to it, i din feel a thing. but…last 2 yrs in BA no practicum at all, haven’t been observed for more than 2 yrs le…i bet aft nxt monday, i gonna feel relieved, relaxed & happy!

even my student can feel my stress. yesterday a P5 boy asked me, "老师，你最近是不是很忙？你很像比较容易不耐烦。" shit lor…datz unprofessional of me! i thot i was acting usual. but somehow, the more sensitive students could feel it. aiya, also bcos some of the students in dat class are so disrespectful lah! being nice to them doesn’t pay well. dey take advantage of my "nice-ness" towards them, and some of them r so so so so so rude & disrespectful.

there r 2 particular gals in tat class who r "not sweet at all"! usually the girls r very sweet, and even if they r not listening to my lesson, they’ll just b day-dreaming or drawing. once in awhile i close one eye. but DIZ 2 GALS r real irritating! one actually changed her plc when i was facing the computer. they r owiz talking & the one who changed plc never looks at the textbk1… wat the hell??!!! y nowadays students so bold & disrespectful one??? at least shud come & ask me permission to change plc right? if her results r fantastic, fine, i shall close one eye. but NO! these 2 gals have the worst results among the girls.

some of them, when i scold them, they don even feel guilty or embarrassed. they can still smile & laugh! OMG!!! last time teachers call our names, we alr so scared. teachers call our names only, we would feel like finding a hole to hide our faces. but nowadays, some students don even think they r wrong…i owiz tell my students "教你们一年，我会短命十年。" owiz falling sick is alr a good example of my life getting shortened, wahaha….

haiz…sometimes i see the students nowdays… i reli reli reli think s’pore’s future is FINISHED! so once in awhile, i reli think of migrating..but where to…